Nice Joke “I was sitting in a bus today when a blind person came in. I offered my seat to him. The blind person was very happy and took it. Unfortunately I lost my job as a bus driver.” Cool Joke I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car. YOU DID WHAT?! Cookies. I made cookies for you. Husband And Wife Joke Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years. One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.” The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two. - The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.” - “Are you sure?” asks the fairy. - “Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation. - Poof once more – and he’s 90. Intern
Bar Joke Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar. I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!” “No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“ Beer Joke If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster. President Joke I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands. They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack. Now it's "Donald! Duck!" Chicken Joke I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold. Mosquito Joke Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep! Astronaut Joke “I want to be an astronaut!” - “I thought they didn’t send monkeys to space anymore?” - “Exactly, so no cha
Planet Joke Two planets meet. One moans to the other: “Can you believe it, I’ve got humans!” The other cheers her up: “Don’t worry, it will pass soon.” Guy Joke When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes. Restaurant Joke "Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.” “I know, one of them’s just been serving me.” Math Joke That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053. English Joke Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can totally change the meaning of a statement. Here’s an example: "Travis is in a rush." "Travis is in a coma." Dream Joke A guy wakes up in the morning and tells his wife: “Wow darling, you won’t believe what happened. I dreamt I was forced to eat a live sheep and now I can’t see my pillow anywhere!” - The
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